Just Another Date

They were singing: Kabutar ja ja jaaaa... kabutar ja ja ja... but it boosted a lot due to our generation and thus we sing Facebook ja ja jaaaa... Facebook ja ja ja.

Thanks to Mark bhaiya for creating virtual dakiyas and kabutar protocol for us. Blind dates are something which succeeds if you know how to act for that and fails if you know how to mess up. Basically, Facebook or post card should help to make the blind date how to act on blind date to make it successful especially what I learned from my last blind date.

It was fun talking to her on chat box. So, I thought to give it a chance. Frankly, I was desperate to date someone. So, I took the first step and asked her for a date. I was excited as I was thinking: isko pata dala to life jhingaa la la.

For a successful date, it’s important to show that we have similar interests and thus instant connections. So, I checked all her likes and dislikes from her profile to find any common interest or connection and therefore I could surprise and impress her. But, found nothing except two things: mutual friends and Indian! :p So, what I decided is that if there is no connection then it’s better to create one with the help of my BFF – Lie.

Now, it’s very important have a place which should look different from the run of the mill. My date was a student of journalism and it’s really hard to impress these types. After a lot of planning and much confusion, I took her to a nearby coffee shop. Well, sticking with old-school ways works. She seemed to be impressed as there was an exhibition on photography and journalism at the coffee shop (luckily). (#TIP 1: Plan a brief meeting at any public place which should be different but defines your date.)

The next thing which I did was ordering a black coffee (YUK!) for both of us as my pre-analysis told me that she likes black coffee (though I don’t). Though she was impressed I was regretting. Having that black coffee was like having sweet gourd juice.

Next we started talking. I thought that it’s better to make her realize that there are lots of connections between her and me. So, I started with: My favourite colour… err what’s yours? “PINK!!!” “Mine too” I don’t know why I said that but her expression after that was dekhne layak. She remained silent, it was only me for a while who was just talking… and talking.

Then she started her, it was totally as disastrous political speech.

She was boring me in a weird Hindi accent…about the recent news update... about Narendra Modi and I was feeling like a dumb participant in a seminar. C’mon man! You are on date not on a seminar and her dangerous fluency in Bengali language in the mid of the conversations was like watching a regional movie without subtitles. Youth ko ye karna chaiye….youth ko wo karna chaiye… but what about us? GHANTA! Though I was blank on the topic, but I was just singing: bilkul thik kaha tumney, main bhi yehin kehney wala tha. (#TIP 2: Pick up light conversations but do not let it become a monologue which is the sign that the date is getting bored then she will definitely take revenge)

Next we decided to shift the venue as can’t have the whole meeting in a single place. I don’t know about her, but I was dying with boredom. And it’s important to have a plan B, like bowling, pool or a movie, maybe. My plan was to take her for Satyagraha. But after watching her emotions towards Anna Hazare and corruption which was unbearable, I jumped to Plan C (#TIP 3: Always keep at least one alternate plan to save your ass).

So, ‘Pilaannn ke mutabik’, I took her to a disc. And believe me, if you want to impress a bong then take her to a disc or any rock concert. And yeah! She was impressed. Guess what happened inside!? She asked me to dance with her. Wow! Meri to ghanti baj gai thi us time. Aur is tarh baji that I agreed to that. As I stepped up to the dance floor, I saw my Ex there dancing with someone else. Lag gai meri! Seeing her, I even forget the steps and only one thing was running on my mind – what will happen if she get encounter with my date. I will be exposed about the lies which I used to make the fake connection like: I never had any GF. So, I took her out from there by making an excuse that my bro is not well and have to reach home ASAP (Man! This ‘not well’ thing is the master excuse). (#TIP 4: Be prepared before planning any activity – things may go in a direction you haven’t planned)

Then I dropped her at home. And she gave me a GN kiss on my cheek. I don’t know whether it was a good sign or not but I was not happy the way this date went. I mean... What will happen in the future if she’ll come to know about my lies and all? One thing was clear from this ‘adventurous’ date that making a fake connection creates fake relationships where you’ll lose your realism and thus ruins the date. (#TIP 5: never try to create any fake connections either it’ll be harmful and worthless for you only)

- Kanishta Anshul Sinha

Comic Kaun?

Remember the green guy throwing snakes on goons and a guy in yellow and blue dress doing daredevil stunts and saving the city? No, then you are definitely not from 80’s. You are either a 90’s kid or surely a millennium kid.

If you ask any 90’s kid about comic books, most of them will have faded memory; some will have no memory at all. But ask any 80’s kid about it, they will boast about it like telling a war story as a war veteran. Comic book for any 80’s kid was a thing of possession but not for the later generation. The later ones, 90’s kid got introduced to new media platforms, such as satellite TV and internet and when they further grew up they got the Facebook and Twitter’s virus. As for the later generations, I guess they have only heard of comics as historical thing. All they know is Doraemon and Pikachu. 

The trend is entirely different in the western world. Even after being much ahead in technology and media content availability, their comic industry has not lost the readers in a considerable manner. May be because of the appearance of their idols on the silver screen or in an animated avatar but the industry has managed to retain the audience. 

According to a popular daily, the comic industry in India is reviving. The sale has now increased from 50000 to 5 lakh. Yeah, the numbers are good comparatively but with more than a billion people, of which 31% living in urban areas, the sales numbers are quite disappointing. The players of the Indian comic industry are trying hard to revive it. In doing so comic-con India has also started taking place in different cities of India but if you ask any random guy about it, only 2 out of ten will say, ‘yeah I heard about it’ others will think of it as comic kaun? What is that?

At the recently held comic con event in Bangalore, the attendance was enormous but the reason behind it was primarily, free entry. The event was supposed to be for the Indian comic industry and its characters but the participants were mostly dressed up as the western characters such as Captain America, Batman, etc. One even came dressed as Gabbar Singh but nobody bothered to know why he is dressed as Gabbar who has no significance in the comic industry. The crowd was not at all bothered about the launch events of Indian comics or any of the related stuff. They came, they saw and gone. That’s how the thing is. Comics in India have failed in retaining the audience, primarily because of the lack of coordination with other media platforms unlike the west.

However, the future for the Indian comic industry does have some silver linings as with already increasing sales figure, the companies such as Raj comics and Diamond comics have already made e-comics available. They are also planning animated series of popular characters like Chacha Chaudhary, Super commando Dhruv and Naagraj and with Pioneer filmmaker Anurag Kashyap announced a film based on our beloved dog masked hero Doga, the future does look promising. It’s better late than never for the comic industry.

Let’s just hope that the glory days when Wham Bham, Chattak and rat-tat tat sounds enjoyed in a literary manner comes back with a bang. 

- Ajit Kumar Lal

Fall In The Rupee

Stricken! First onions then the stuff from which you could buy onions. Our beloved Indian Rupee has been depreciated. Yeah! ‘Our’ Indian Rupee. Ek US Federal ki policy ne laga dali sab ki!

What is the basic reason? Import? Today, India comes in those group of countries who depends upon only imports (except vegetables, I guess). And if not then FIIs are there. So, directly or indirectly, development growth ke chakkar mein, economic growth ki lag gai. When Bapu was shouting ‘Bachcho! Band kar do videshi chizo ka istemal!’, then nobody listened to him. Now I believe, everybody will boycott, willingly or unwillingly. Bapu! khush ho jao...lag chuki hai hamari!

The rupee slump impact greets the investors who are investing in the companies and the businessmen who were buying goods from abroad and selling them in Indian market. Yesterday, I went to a gadget shop for an ear-piece. And I was bargaining on that as he was trying to sell it for extra Rs.5.  He explained to me that how he is facing the problem, when he order something for import, he has to pay in dollars at the same rate which is running on the receiving day of goods. Now, the problem is that the product which he ordered for say $5 costing him Rs.275 (approx.). But by the day he receives that product, the $ amounts to Rs.340 (approx.). The irony is that he has to sell that product on the same MRP which is on its label. So, Loss!  Now, why a businessman will sell foreign goods in here if he can’t even make profit?

Well, that was the point of investors and businessmen who could easily cope up with time and will find better solution to grab their losses. Though, at that moment the customers have to go through price-rise even for underwear. Just like one of my friends who want to buy a galaxy tab by the end of this month. But as the mobile companies have decided to increase the price by 8%, He is in fear as he is having that much of budget only which was the rate of tab before 28th. And now, he is in doubt to either drop his plan or arranging that extra 8%.

India is the most important import country for gold and crude oil. Crude oil! Now this is maybe because either there is no dearth of vehicles or lack of people who know driving. The demand for oil in India is increasing year by year as a result of which is we are facing the present situation. The price of oil is given in dollars. So, increase in demand for it will gradually increase its cost in global market, there also arises a need to pay some more dollars to the supplier. This will create a situation where worth of Indian Rupee decreases and thus appreciation of dollar. So, this will be not pocket-sucking situation for government but us also. Just think that you took Rs.75 from you dad in the morning to fill 1litre petrol in your bike. And by afternoon, when you reached gasoline-station, saw that the rate increased from Rs.75 to Rs.100. Yes! Fluctuation will definitely get added to crude oil’s rate if not get recovered soon. And if the rough situation between America and Syria (the country which is our major oil supplier) will turn into any tough war then oil ka naam bhi bhul jana. Phir government sach mein jaegi tel lene. And we will be running bail-gari and cycle.

Once upon a time, India was a golden bird. Now! India is still that bird but the one who is buying golden feathers from other white birds. Gold is a stuff which is found in every alternate middle-class and in every high-class. And, of course in every temple. But now, the way government is trying to recover the depreciation by buying gold from temples and its citizen. I’m sure one day, gold will become a dream.

One of the major impacts is also on the Indian students who are studying in abroad. Over 5 lakhs students go overseas to study every year from India, especially to U.S, Britain and Australia. Now the students already studying in overseas will be looking for cut costs, depending upon saving or either covering their fees and requirements by finding jobs. And the students, who were willing to study in overseas, will be in doubt whether to go abroad or not. This depreciation in INR becomes very much helpful for the foreign students studying in India who will be praying for more depreciation. Hell to them!

We have to get ready for the price-rise in everything which is related to shiny $. I’m damn sure that if soon we’ll not recover this depreciation then one day will come when we have to buy Levi's shoe on EMI or either bank loan. The time when we’ll get onions in gold shops and by then gold will be found in vegetables’ stall in order of trying to recover the ‘super’ depreciation by government and when Ford will start selling bail-gari and cycles with especial leather couch and seat with extra comfort.

- Kanishta Anshul Sinha