Just Friends Okay!

So here I was, sitting inside a nice restaurant with a beautiful girl, having good food along with some nice music. The conversation was nowhere between us. She was confused over it. She knows that this is not the real me. I use to engage her with my talks but I was more into the things around the restaurant rather than talking or admiring her. The tension and pressure of saving the evening was rising. So she spoke.

“You know I don’t feel like having a boyfriend. I don’t feel good. You care for me specially but its better if I get it as a friend”, she said with a plain face.

I just smiled a bit. I didn’t allow myself to look angry and disappointed. She then asked me what I wanted. I wanted many things but the lines she spoke changed my wants. Now I just wanted to stand up, take the bill and throw it on her and leave. But I intended to keep myself in the gentleman’s club so I sat firmly and calmly. Then, I spoke.

“I want a girl who should be worthy of me”

She was utterly surprised to hear what I said. It was clear that she was taken aback by my lines. “What do you mean? She asked.

“I know that I am good at handling relations. You may call it self-praise or attitude but there are things that you know about yourself and I know this. I haven’t met a girl till now who is worth it”,

I don’t know what she exactly felt but she stood up, paid the bill and left. Well, at least I made her pay the bill.

I came out of the restaurant and I realized that it was Thursday and the next four days are holidays and there will be just me at home. It seemed like boring four days. No one at home, TV is worthless and definitely no date is happening. I didn’t want myself to sink into the pain of becoming ‘just friends’ after making all the efforts to be more than that.

 I cursed myself for ruining my weekend. I could have made some reservations for the weekend. But God and whattsapp is there to help. I got a text asking to meet up. So Saturday got covered.  She was from my graduation college. I didn’t have any feeling, I was just happy to have an engaged Saturday evening.

I went to meet her and the entire meet turned into a nightmare. She started crying and complaining that why didn’t I call her since four months. I had no clue that she wanted me to call her. “It was just me who kept on calling, you didn’t even understand”, she continued while sobbing.

I somehow managed to take her out of the restaurant and calmed her down. I reminded myself of the conversation I had with her. She clearly said, “We are okay as friends only”. I replied gently with yes but with disappointment at heart.

One month later,

 I was again at a nice restaurant with good food, nice music and beautiful girl in front of me. It was difficult to distract me. She looked at me and smiled. We had a good conversation. It all seemed to be going the right way.  I thought this girl looks like a straight answer to my efforts.

“So, are we friends or what? We should be friends okay!

And that was it. I had no idea what to say and how to approach her further. I was not sure if she wants to avoid extra attachment or wants me to persuade her. Third time the same reaction. I couldn’t understand how this happens everytime. I know that relations don’t happen in days but saying that we should be friends only takes it to full stop.

For once I thought maybe there is something I am lacking and I need to find it but when I reviewed all my approach to the three girls in 3-4 months or so, it did not projected me as ‘friend only’. I was clear from start that ‘I have too many friends’ even good friends and I am treating you as special because I want you to be one’.

Two texts came on my whats app while I was reviewing my approach. The gist of both the messages was, “Where are you since we met last month. No calls, no message, friends don’t behave this way.

I wanted to say that, friends also don’t poke you all the time and get jealous when you post a picture with some other girl. But I didn’t reply.  I had too many things to think of rather than thinking of a reply. I switched off my phone and walked out of the restaurant without saying anything.

Things do starts with friendship but girls are smart enough to guess that the guy wants more than 

just being friends. I mean taking you personally for dinner does indicate that.

Talking at random times, long talks every night and even taking her to a nice restaurant. Does all this 

does not indicate that the guy is not at all interested in just friendship but more than that?

 One might say that it is up to the girl to decide what she wants with a guy while starting any relation 

and they do it to be completely sure about her choice.

So what should a guy do? I mean if he continues to persuade. The answer would be ‘don’t you understand what I said about being friends’. If he does not, the statement would be ‘why are you behaving this way. Why don’t you talk like earlier?

It is almost impossible to answer ‘what women want’ but what men want is simple. They just want 

their efforts to be admired in whatever way it is being executed. If a guy is making an effort he 

should be rewarded with straight answers, yes or no or even ‘maybe’ would work.

Yes, guys are morons and they take ‘maybe’ as ‘yes’ and starts behaving like it but it happens 

because they get ‘just friends’ tag more than the ‘maybe’ on the same efforts.

I for that matter of fact am date free for now. I decided to first understand what actually the 

statement, ‘we are just friends’ means when it is said at a candle light romantic dinner table.

Ajit Kumar