Few months ago I was travelling in metro to reach my new college. I noticed a group of young people standing in one of the corners of the metro car. They were laughing, teasing each other, enjoying every bit of each other and cherishing what they have. It was evident from their behaviour that they don’t need anything else if they have each other. I just kept on looking at them and kept on restraining myself of my memories that I have. The memories that reminds of the time when I use to be a part of the group I am seeing now, cherishing my moments, enjoying like you don’t need tomorrow.
But the truth is the truth, doesn't matter how hard it is. You have to accept it. Truth was that I don’t have that group with me neither I want to be anymore. Reason also doesn't matter for me anymore because I made a decision of not being a part of one now. It hurts when you are left with just memories and nothing else. Even the good ones bring a sad emotion in you when you think of it.
I made a promise to myself that I will only be academically inclined and nothing else. I will socialize but only when needed. The rest I will do when I get the chance to be with my best friend who is 1000 kilometres from me. For a moment I thought I could miss out the fun others will have with their new friends but I decided that I will compensate for it when I will have my moment.
The college started and so does socializing. You need to be around people to get involved in activities. I was doing the same but soon I became friends with one person and another one followed a day later. I thought its okay since I need roommates. Then few days passed by and few more followed. I was skeptical about it. I felt like I am roaming in a circle and I will back at square one. I will have friends, a whole group, fun and then only memories. It will haunt me rather than a knight against nightmares. I tried to keep my distance but I was drawn into their collective charm. I knew that it is a friendship that is knocking on my door but I wanted to shut the door and leave forever.
Today I was in metro again but with my group of friends. Laughing, teasing each other, enjoying and cherishing each moment.
With time I realized that it doesn't matter how stiffly you close doors for your emotions. There is something in life called friendship which always break that door apart and fill your space with fun, support and inspiration. I was too inclined towards securing my future. It was hurting my real self. I am not someone who remains with plain face and sits with his hand on chin all the time. I can only be what I am when I am around friends.
One of my friends from this group wrote on her blog that ‘Success is subjective and it depends on what parameter you evaluate it on’.
Yes it is true.
I will have my future with success in it but it will not be based on a bitter present. I will evaluate it on how happy I was earlier and how happy I am after getting my share of success.
Lies and doubts are created but truth happens and for me the truth is that my best and my good friends are far away. So I could only be sad about it and be miserable or I could live my life with the people who are true to me and love me for what I am and not someone I pretend to be. I chose to live around them, with them.
Yes another truth is that we all might get separated in near future and I will be left with memories again. Memories do make you emotional but I am not afraid of having it anymore.
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