Just Friends Okay!

So here I was, sitting inside a nice restaurant with a beautiful girl, having good food along with some nice music. The conversation was nowhere between us. She was confused over it. She knows that this is not the real me. I use to engage her with my talks but I was more into the things around the restaurant rather than talking or admiring her. The tension and pressure of saving the evening was rising. So she spoke.

“You know I don’t feel like having a boyfriend. I don’t feel good. You care for me specially but its better if I get it as a friend”, she said with a plain face.

I just smiled a bit. I didn’t allow myself to look angry and disappointed. She then asked me what I wanted. I wanted many things but the lines she spoke changed my wants. Now I just wanted to stand up, take the bill and throw it on her and leave. But I intended to keep myself in the gentleman’s club so I sat firmly and calmly. Then, I spoke.

“I want a girl who should be worthy of me”

She was utterly surprised to hear what I said. It was clear that she was taken aback by my lines. “What do you mean? She asked.

“I know that I am good at handling relations. You may call it self-praise or attitude but there are things that you know about yourself and I know this. I haven’t met a girl till now who is worth it”,

I don’t know what she exactly felt but she stood up, paid the bill and left. Well, at least I made her pay the bill.

I came out of the restaurant and I realized that it was Thursday and the next four days are holidays and there will be just me at home. It seemed like boring four days. No one at home, TV is worthless and definitely no date is happening. I didn’t want myself to sink into the pain of becoming ‘just friends’ after making all the efforts to be more than that.

 I cursed myself for ruining my weekend. I could have made some reservations for the weekend. But God and whattsapp is there to help. I got a text asking to meet up. So Saturday got covered.  She was from my graduation college. I didn’t have any feeling, I was just happy to have an engaged Saturday evening.

I went to meet her and the entire meet turned into a nightmare. She started crying and complaining that why didn’t I call her since four months. I had no clue that she wanted me to call her. “It was just me who kept on calling, you didn’t even understand”, she continued while sobbing.

I somehow managed to take her out of the restaurant and calmed her down. I reminded myself of the conversation I had with her. She clearly said, “We are okay as friends only”. I replied gently with yes but with disappointment at heart.

One month later,

 I was again at a nice restaurant with good food, nice music and beautiful girl in front of me. It was difficult to distract me. She looked at me and smiled. We had a good conversation. It all seemed to be going the right way.  I thought this girl looks like a straight answer to my efforts.

“So, are we friends or what? We should be friends okay!

And that was it. I had no idea what to say and how to approach her further. I was not sure if she wants to avoid extra attachment or wants me to persuade her. Third time the same reaction. I couldn’t understand how this happens everytime. I know that relations don’t happen in days but saying that we should be friends only takes it to full stop.

For once I thought maybe there is something I am lacking and I need to find it but when I reviewed all my approach to the three girls in 3-4 months or so, it did not projected me as ‘friend only’. I was clear from start that ‘I have too many friends’ even good friends and I am treating you as special because I want you to be one’.

Two texts came on my whats app while I was reviewing my approach. The gist of both the messages was, “Where are you since we met last month. No calls, no message, friends don’t behave this way.

I wanted to say that, friends also don’t poke you all the time and get jealous when you post a picture with some other girl. But I didn’t reply.  I had too many things to think of rather than thinking of a reply. I switched off my phone and walked out of the restaurant without saying anything.

Things do starts with friendship but girls are smart enough to guess that the guy wants more than 

just being friends. I mean taking you personally for dinner does indicate that.

Talking at random times, long talks every night and even taking her to a nice restaurant. Does all this 

does not indicate that the guy is not at all interested in just friendship but more than that?

 One might say that it is up to the girl to decide what she wants with a guy while starting any relation 

and they do it to be completely sure about her choice.

So what should a guy do? I mean if he continues to persuade. The answer would be ‘don’t you understand what I said about being friends’. If he does not, the statement would be ‘why are you behaving this way. Why don’t you talk like earlier?

It is almost impossible to answer ‘what women want’ but what men want is simple. They just want 

their efforts to be admired in whatever way it is being executed. If a guy is making an effort he 

should be rewarded with straight answers, yes or no or even ‘maybe’ would work.

Yes, guys are morons and they take ‘maybe’ as ‘yes’ and starts behaving like it but it happens 

because they get ‘just friends’ tag more than the ‘maybe’ on the same efforts.

I for that matter of fact am date free for now. I decided to first understand what actually the 

statement, ‘we are just friends’ means when it is said at a candle light romantic dinner table.

Ajit Kumar

In this Moment

Few months ago I was travelling in metro to reach my new college. I noticed a group of young people standing in one of the corners of the metro car. They were laughing, teasing each other, enjoying every bit of each other and cherishing what they have. It was evident from their behaviour that they don’t need anything else if they have each other. I just kept on looking at them and kept on restraining myself of my memories that I have. The memories that reminds of the time when I use to be a part of the group I am seeing now, cherishing my moments, enjoying like you don’t need tomorrow.

But the truth is the truth, doesn't matter how hard it is. You have to accept it. Truth was that I don’t have that group with me neither I want to be anymore. Reason also doesn't matter for me anymore because I made a decision of not being a part of one now. It hurts when you are left with just memories and nothing else. Even the good ones bring a sad emotion in you when you think of it.

I made a promise to myself that I will only be academically inclined and nothing else. I will socialize but only when needed. The rest I will do when I get the chance to be with my best friend who is 1000 kilometres from me. For a moment I thought I could miss out the fun others will have with their new friends but I decided that I will compensate for it when I will have my moment.

The college started and so does socializing. You need to be around people to get involved in activities. I was doing the same but soon I became friends with one person and another one followed a day later. I thought its okay since I need roommates. Then few days passed by and few more followed. I was skeptical about it. I felt like I am roaming in a circle and I will back at square one. I will have friends, a whole group, fun and then only memories. It will haunt me rather than a knight against nightmares. I tried to keep my distance but I was drawn into their collective charm. I knew that it is a friendship that is knocking on my door but I wanted to shut the door and leave forever.

Today I was in metro again but with my group of friends. Laughing, teasing each other, enjoying and cherishing each moment.

With time I realized that it doesn't matter how stiffly you close doors for your emotions. There is something in life called friendship which always break that door apart and fill your space with fun, support and inspiration. I was too inclined towards securing my future. It was hurting my real self. I am not someone who remains with plain face and sits with his hand on chin all the time. I can only be what I am when I am around friends.

One of my friends from this group wrote on her blog that ‘Success is subjective and it depends on what parameter you evaluate it on’.

Yes it is true.

I will have my future with success in it but it will not be based on a bitter present. I will evaluate it on how happy I was earlier and how happy I am after getting my share of success.

Lies and doubts are created but truth happens and for me the truth is that my best and my good friends are far away. So I could only be sad about it and be miserable or I could live my life with the people who are true to me and love me for what I am and not someone I pretend to be. I chose to live around them, with them.

Yes another truth is that we all might get separated in near future and I will be left with memories again. Memories do make you emotional but I am not afraid of having it anymore.

- Ajit Kumar

Humour! Anyone?

Humour in India is like sex. People love to do it, try it, don't know if it was great but feel like it was, when you know that someone else is doing good then you say 'huh I can do better'. Only few people appreciate, actually only those who knows the where, when and what to do.

Earlier humour was in the form of word of mouth jokes, and then came SMS jokes and now well there is still whatsapp jokes. Apart from those comic strips, few stand ups, few serials and movies were there but the time has changed now and so has the media. Thanks to internet, there is a whole new platform for the creator of humour to present upon. The best part is that they don't have to restrict themselves in terms of creativity like in case of serials and movies. 

With the likes of Faking news, All India Bakchod (AIB), The Viral Fever (TVF), etc. humour has taken a leap. It has reached to much larger audience. Some appreciate it and some dislikes it. But in case of disliking the satire and humour I met people of two categories. One who believed that the things could have been done in a better way and then there were those who simply discarded the humour. 

The argument started on one of the AIB's video which is a jingle of ‘Classic Indian Ads. They said there is nothing classy about it and the song is quite irritating. 

I asked them why is that you didn't like it? I mean it takes a lot of effort to make one. The answer came, 'There is nothing new to it. I could do it any time of the day'. 

I requested them to do it. The answer came; I don't do such degrading things.

I insisted like a child but no. All the people of this category whom I totally discarded the satire and its humour by citing the reason that it is against the culture, it is corrupting the youth and making their minds dirty. The most shocking was that AIB's "It's My Fault" was degrading towards women for them.

It made me think that the humour spread has taken a leap but not the humour overall. I would have accepted them as rare kind if there have been few but there were more than ten.

After this experience I believe that there is still a need for the humour to take a leap and it would be better if we hire Neil Armstrong for that. We are still not ready to accept many things in humour specially sex, religion and politics. People even say don’t touch those topics to be on a safer side. Making a satire is not betting on share market.

It is done to point out society’s flaws in a comic or rather entertaining manner. It takes lot of effort to make a satire or create a humour. Dislike it as audience not as an apple’s engineer.

- Ajit Kumar

A letter to the JU's protesters

To,

The Protesters, JU

I have been reading from last few days about the scenario and "your brutality" over the honourable university's administration and the dutiful police department. And I would like to share my thoughts with you guys.

To read more>>

Being A Jobless Junk

“To beta! Where you got the placement?”

“I didn’t get any, Aunty. Actually I’m preparing for CAT”

“OK! So, basically you’re doing nothing now a days. Well, my son got placed in Infosys without any MBA degree” [CHUCKLE]

Believe me, if there’s any worst thing in this world then it can’t be worse than being a berojgar or in some different manner; struggler. Getting job is like a girlfriend; Hai to problem, Nahin hai to kuch zada hi problem and most of all, tumhare aas paas ke logo ko uuse bhi zada problem. Maybe you’ll not take this bekari more seriously but don’t worry, there’re people around you who will never let you skip the thought of being an unemployed bag of degree shits.

It’s something else if you are in the college or pursuing any degree, when you don’t need to worry about a job because you know you are not alone in the queue, in fact you’re in there with your buddies. But as soon as you get your degree, you’ll face the reality which says that 7 out of 10 friends have got placed and you come in those ‘three idiots’. The situation becomes more frustrating when your job-going friend invites you to celebrate his or her placement. You can’t even ignore the invitation as you don’t want the others think that you are frustrated (which you’re though) and don’t want to drop the opportunity to have some free alcohols and biryani.

Well this doesn’t just end up there! The situation becomes more blood sucking when you’ll browse Facebook. Though I regularly used to get useless feeds from my circle on the Facebook but after graduating and becoming a certified jobless junk, the feeds started burning my ass. And it should be! What you’ll think or react when one day you signed in to your account and saw Facebook flooded with;

Got placed in bla-bla. Feeling excited.

Got placed in Alfa-gamma.

That day I kept on rolling down the feeds, just to check out; is there anyone who is ‘feeling frustrated’ or something like that, so I can tranquilize myself that I am not alone here!?

All the year no one is going to even text you but a not-so-jaw-dropping job attracts those flies to your messenger and if by mistake you replied to those flies then get ready to get hamper by their shitty questions; ‘WHAT YOU’RE UP TO? GOT PLACED OR STILL LOOKING FOR SOMETHING?’ And in those situations, you can’t even reply back or you can’t even make them realize that they’re still above you by telling them ‘hell yeah! I am still jobless. So this is what you want to hear?’

Though your girlfriend will always be there to consolidate you or calm you up. But the reality is something else my friend! You never know, she must be giving you a last chance. Maybe she is just calming you up for the future; the break up with a berojgaar graduate. Of course, money is honey and honey is money!

Beside all that, if you’re single then you can’t even think to woo a girl. And it is! I mean... what you’ll say to the girl when she’ll ask you the base question; “What do you do!?” And if it’s of my case then it’s more than just complication. If I would say that I’m a part-time writer then she’ll run away and if I would say that I’m preparing for competitions then she’ll run away by saying those same pinching words; “So, basically tum abhi kuch nahin kar rahe ho!”

These are all about your circle but I haven’t yet mentioned the most irritating species on earth; relatives. The one who is less interested in what their kids are doing but more in what others’ kids are doing. They are the real ‘chintankartas’ even more than your parents. It may happen that your parents are not that much worried about your future as somewhere they’re having faith on you and your talent but… relatives! Dude, they actually know how to put you and your parents in worries and more often by giving useless suggestions which they would never apply on their own kids;

‘The market condition is not very good.. many graduates are sitting at home… my son was lucky. Hope the same will not happen to your kids’

‘Arey Sinha saab (my dad), what is the guarantee that your kid will get job after MBA. There are still thousands of MBA degree holder who’re sitting at home!’

And even after saying all those hyper blood sucking words, they will end up their balderdashes with; ‘Don’t worry, your kid will get there’.

Being a (mannered) struggler or so called berojgaar, I went through (and still I am) all those things which can easily make me out of focus. And guess all the guys of my kind are facing the same thing.

But ultimately I started ignoring those things and focusing on the future because I know that maybe it’s not the right time to get a place but when I’ll get it then it’ll definitely blow up everyone’s mind. And dude! You can’t just focus on your career or your future until and unless you’ll not throw this tension and all those bla-blas of your relatives and so called friends into the trash bag. And that is a fact.

- Kanishta Anshul

SMOKING; Injurious To Weath!

Today, I said good bye to her with a note of never to meet her again because I never thought that even to give a kiss to her, I've to pay so much of money. We were together for last four years but this is it! Good bye cigarettes.

Yeah! I quit smoking. Though my girlfriend is very much happy with my decision as she’s thinking that I quit it for her. Well, to some extent it’s true. Obviously if I’ll smoke anymore then I’ll definitely become bankrupt which can directly hamper my relationship which starts with an expensive gift and ends with another expensive gift.

But, I can’t deny the fact that the reason is only our prime minister.

It all started from the day when I switched on to a news channel presenting a special report on National budget 2014. The budget was looking very impressive and good for development of India. But I fell down to a mixed thought when they announced the hike in the price of cigarettes. Mixed because one side of my mind was saying that this decision can help many youngsters to control their addiction of smoking and the other side was unhappy as I’m also an addict.

Basically according to this national budget, if I’ll smoke anymore then my personal budget for smoking will increase up to Rs. 5000. 5000!

Damn’ I can buy an iPhone, if I’ll save this up to a year!

Jo kam ek girlfriend nahin kar saki wo kam is budget ne kar diya tha! It made me start thinking about myself being an incinerator which was burning waste materials. The waste materials which will now even cost me more than a vitamin capsule.

Smoking was hampering my health more than wealth from many years. But this national budget may hamper my wealth and health apparently, if I’ll not stop it here. I realized that maybe just like me, there are many, actually a lot of youngsters who were exactly thinking the same way as I was thinking; to kick the butt or to lick the butt?

Maybe that’s what our prime minister wants. The situation was enlightening his strategy very clearly; RAISE THE PRICE, THEN BAN IT! So, what he’s up to? An anti-smoking country – a healthier country? Maybe his strategy will work and force us to do the thing. As I always used to say that we, Indians, are the most complicated creature on earth. We’ll not understand any major thing until and unless we experience any major slope down in our wealth.

Also, maybe this can give a way to the black market to earn a lot of money by manufacturing duplicate cigarettes. Besides all that, an addict can always find a way to fulfill his addiction.

Jo bhi ho! Today I’m happy that I have quit smoking, at least it’s not hampering my lungs and my valet. And one thing is sure that the time is coming when ‘INJURIOUS TO WEALTH’ will take place of ‘INJURIOUS TO HEALTH’ in the cigarette packets.

- Kanishta Anshul

Being Human

Monday morning and I am inside the Delhi metro with my sore leg. I am already frustrated over the fact that I have to cover the distance of 40 stations to reach my destination. The crowd is enormous, so after seven stations I finally got the chance to sit but just minutes after minute a girl came and demanded for the seat. I looked up and saw sign with ‘for women written over it’ over my head. She noticed my sore leg but even though she demanded for it. I was angry over all this and said many things inside my head and stood with anger till she got off the train.

So finally after 17 stations I got a seat and laid myself onto it, I took the newspaper from my bag which I kept to pass the time of my one and half hour journey. As I was turning the pages I came across an article depicting a very horrific incident which occurred in April 1994; Rwanda genocide. More than million people including women and children of Tutsi community and moderate Hutu’s were killed in a series of mass killings carried on by the Hutu majority (Hutu and Tutsi are two ethnic group of Rwnada, Hutu being in majority). It all started when the airplane carrying the then president of Rwanda and the Hutu President of Burundi was shot down when it was about to land in the capital city of Rwanda. The following day Hutus started killing Tutsi people.

The people who were once neighbors started killing each other. Children were beheaded in front of their already terrified parents. Women were raped repeatedly and were infected with AIDS so that they die slow deaths and for this purpose AIDS patients were released from hospitals and were recruited in what was called ‘rape squad’. Atrocities have been even considered more brutal than Holocaust.

As I moved past the background and happening of this atrocity, I came across two names, Alice Mukarurinda and Emmanuel Ndayisaba. Alice is the treasurer and Emmanuel is the vice president of the group that helps the genocide victims. Alice’s baby daughter was killed in front of her and her right hand was chopped off in the maniac killing spree. Emmanuel was the person who killed Alice’s baby daughter and took her hand with his machete. Emmanuel in total killed 14 people. He was recruited by the militia and was encouraged to kill the tutsis. After the genocide Emmanuel was pervaded by guilt. He pleaded the survivors and victims of genocide for forgiveness. He then joined the group which was helping the victims and eventually came face to face with Alice. He pleaded, begged for forgiveness. After two weeks Alice gave that one thing to Emmanuel that changed his life forever, forgiveness.

In just two weeks of time Alice forgave the man who killed her baby daughter and took her arm. Not only she forgave him, she also attended many programs with him regarding the supply of aid to the victims. 20 years later they are friends and still work together. Not only Alice but whole country has moved past the feeling of anger and revenge and has indulged themselves in developing the society and economy of the country. They have had their achievements to some extent in 20 years. They still mourn the deaths and shed the tears remembering those who lost their lives and soul but they move with it. They don’t encourage it as an agenda to build politics. They don’t use it as an excuse to point out each other’s drawbacks. They use it as a teaching tool and learn from it to build their country’s future.

Many such things happened in our country too but we have not been able to move past those things and when we try to do, we are constantly reminded of our misery through rallies and speeches from the Khadi laden intellectuals and some religious police. One might say, how can we forget what they did?

It is not about forgetting it, it is about acceptance, learning and forgiveness. Accepting what has happened brings truce to the fight that fight from ourselves, learning from the past glorifies the future and forgiveness leads us to humanity and peace.

But the quality being a human does not come by wearing a T-shirt with the inscription saying ‘being human’. It comes from feeling it, being empathetic to others. Those who created the slogan must have felt it that is why they made it. Anger is something that leads us to believe only in revenge and nothing else. It takes a courage like Alice to forgive and be a real human. So who is brave Alice or the one who destroy lives and takes it or encourage people to do so out of anger?

Gandhi Ji said “An eye for an eye will only make whole world blind”. Blindness comes the moment you are filled with anger. The forgiveness and atonement can only make the world a brighter place.

As for me, I forgave that girl thirty minutes and one article later.

- Ajit Kumar Lal

The Three Magical Words!

I love you! Quite a sentence han?

As a high school kid, we intend to do everything possible for the girl we supposedly love to hear those three magical words. When after all the efforts she finally says, we feel like standing on the deck of The Titanic shouting “I‘m the king of the world”. We feel like ‘I can do anything since I have accomplished it’. 

As we grow up and pass through constant sinking of the Titanic, we come to grasp the real weight that the three magical word carries. The worst comes when you are on the verge of success but hasn’t achieved it yet. By on the verge of success I mean that you have accomplished few things in life and has shown your potential but have not yet achieved stability in life. There comes a phase in life where you want to have a girlfriend but surely not want to give commitment. That’s when the three magical words haunt you. They haunt you because those three words comes with commitment and you know the consequence of sinking the Titanic. 

In our societal set up first there is ‘I love you’ and then if everything works in a right way then there is sex and the ‘I like you’ gets lost in either going as solo lover or during “we are friends” phase, unlike the west where first there is I like you then sex or vice versa and then if everything works out the I love you comes out. So in this kind of set up there is very little window to escape from the commitment while having a relationship. If you can manage it, you are the dude or your girlfriend is very cool. The thing with casual relations is that they can’t be found easily. Even if you find one you will fall into the pit which you believe as heaven but your unstable life will make it a hell no matter how hard your girlfriend tries to make it beautiful or as you the matter of fact try to work it out. The main problem becomes the age. The guy has not achieved the age of marriage. He has his dream of going to Ibiza or at least Goa but the girl is near to the marriage one. Parent’s pressure becomes more than atmospheric pressure. The pressure transfers onto the guy and voila he gets scared out of life looking at his marriage. 

The thing is that love is such a beautiful feeling that if get your heartbroken after living that feeling, you get scared of repeating it. But love actually makes the mind clear as crystal. If the commitment scares you, you are definitely not in love because love don’t scare you, it gives you strength, and it gives inspiration to lead a better life by taking the best possible decision. The decisions taken considering only happiness and nothing else. It’s a power that gives you strength to live life with confidence. The moment love scares you, you must figure out what wrong you have done. 

Stability in life comes with success and it can only be measured in happiness and what’s happiness without love and if you do not want to be successful then why are you working so hard in life. So bottom line if you are scared you are not in love, if you are not have a happy life.

- Ajit Kumar Lal

Five Things Women Would Love To Hear

Words! Well, when it about a man, he believes that action is more important than words, but if we talk about a woman, then it’s not only about just action but words too. A simple word can make them to love and admire you more and more and also can make them to suck your blood. So there’s one thing which we, men, need to learn about women is what to say to make them happy. And if it comes to compliment then women are someone who wants more and more and if you’ll give them that then they’ll surely give you plenty back in return.

You can make a woman to please you simply by letting her realize that how much she already does. Here are five things which women love to hear or which men would love to sound out.

I can’t believe how you look so beautiful!

If you’re just dating someone, then just by telling her that how much she’s attractive for you, can work any time, but if it’s about a relationship then women just want to know that even after spending few years with her, you still find her the most beautiful girl (whether she is or not). Many times it occurs that the appeal which you felt in her before sticking into a kinship is now lacking somewhere after when you realize that there are a lot more young women out there who are prettier than your girlfriend. But let me tell you one thing a woman will stop looking prettier and beautiful for you if you’ll stop complimenting her about her beauty. The more you’ll compliment, the more she’ll be conscious about her body as she wants her man never to stop complimenting her.

Many of us think that girls don’t like words like “SEXY” and “HOT” and resist using them for any girl. But here is the thing! Believe me, it doesn’t matter if some girls show that they don’t like these sort of words because from inside she feels like taking flight in the sky after hearing that how many sexy and hot she is.

You’re really smart!

Indigestible for women, but it’s a bitter truth that the majority of women comes with beauty without brain or even no beauty no brain. So if you’ve that girl from the minority who don’t still have that beauty, but brain also then acknowledge her intelligence whether she is or not. It’ll make her realize that her man not only know her figure but brain as well. A woman loves a man who is capable of thinking above waistline or a man who can not only think above and below her stomach but also her smartness. It’s kind of a respect from her man.

I want to spend my life with you!

The master line which a guy mostly uses while proposing a girl, but be prepared about the consequences after saying this. Maybe it’s just a line to use, but it’s more than just words to women. Yea! But never forget one thing that risks come with heaps of rewards. Say lines like this when you really mean it because maybe you’re saying this merely to woo her, but women always bring these matters to their essence. A woman loves to hear how much you’re committed towards her and the relationship. I would allege that other phrases like “I am incomplete without you” and “you make me feel so happy” can lick in the similar room but less commitment.

How was the day?

Asking her about the day always make a girl feel about your eagerness and interest to understand her. For a guy, a day means just work and sleep, but for a girl, it’s all about the things which are adventurous for her like; gossiping, fight with her sister or brother, her best friend’s affair and many more. Well but be prepared because this line gives her the license to talk for a long time and maybe those things which can make you bore till death. So before saying this line, better just go for pranayama or something which can help you to stand for a long while to listen to her long but endless bedtime stories. You may have to listen more than you want to.

I love you!

The 3 little power pack words! I don’t think I have to explain that why women love to hear this phrase, but I would like to say only one thing that brother, don’t feel shy or hesitate to say this line. These words are not meant to be used only at the time of proposing a girl, so it’s good to say it every now and then. I called them power words because it perpetually helps you to relight the spark in your relationship. You won’t regret once you’ll see her reaction on it.

So now this is women’s day and it’s time to go out and make your girl feel that how much she’s special to you and your life. But before all that, never forget to respect women’s body and soul as it’s the most precious thing in this universe.


- Kanishta Anshul

Can A Girl And A Boy Be Best Friends Too?

“A boy and a girl can never be just friends”, everybody has heard this dialogue but obviously in a much dramatic effect and with powerful delivery stance. In my entire course of existence I have been dealing with this phrase and denying it. Why? Because my best friend is a girl. I have known her since the time I remember most of the things in my life, so it feels like knowing her since the existence of this planet. Most of my other friends find it extremely weird that I have a female as my best friend. They often say that we hide that we are a couple and if not then one of us is secretly in love with the other. Of     course I love her but like a friend with an addition of best to it.

I would have to be more apathetic to know what it’s like to have a boy as a best friend for a girl but I am a bit lethargic to do that. I surely do know the fun and adventures of having a girl as your best friend. Whenever I think of this, five things pops into my mind at first and then I go into a torrent of thoughts upon what it should be and what it should have been. Till the childhood it remains sweet and heartening but in adulthood it becomes questioning along with sweet and heartening.

The first one; A girl is your best friend, seriously?

If a girl is your best friend, you must have had this reaction from others. They never say that but as soon as you reveal it, it takes them a while to get over it. Sometimes at some instances even the mind asks the same but the understanding overcomes the thought.

The second; Shyness

Doesn't matter how much bold you think of yourself, whenever your best friend asks you something related to sex, you would take at least ten minutes and ten different ways to explain it. But the thing is if you cannot talk about it then the girl or even that boy is not your best friend because best friends can ask any question and can answer any question.

The third; Management

Yeah if you want to be a decision maker, have a girl as your best friend and then make a girlfriend. You will learn how to manage work and home and will also be able to learn time management according to people. I guess this also increases crisis management. Well, it is common for a girl friend to hate your female best friend, it’s up to you to decide who the work is and who is home. If you upset any of the two, prepare yourself for crisis management. In my personal experience I have learned the management the most after obviously I screwed up.

The fourth; Suspicion

Most of your friends and family members would think that, you two have become a couple unless you clearly state that your best friend is not that girl, it is someone else. This also makes suspicion about you getting confused in life and not accepting things that is in front of you. If you are single then no matter how much you deny it, they would treat you as a couple. Especially when you are found talking to your best friend at mid night.

The fifth; Future

This remains a matter of concern. As you grow up you would be very uncertain of the future of relation. What is going to happen once we get settled? What if she gets married before me? What if we actually become a couple but no we denied all the time? The answer to these question depends on the level of understanding that you have with her and how you evolve through it.

In my personal experience the understanding is so much that even after living in two different cities for long time we are best friends and despite of her getting into a relationship the equation has not changed. That’s the level of understanding should exist. The third angle of love or for the matter of fact anything should never ruin the friendship, if it does then you need to work on your relation with your best friend. All I know is that if you have a female best friend, you are the luckiest guy in this world.

- Ajit Kumar Lal

Relationship Status!

What’s your relationship status? A very common question on social networking sites (special thanks to Zuckerberg Saab). Whenever we check anyone’s profile, the first thing where our eyes roll up is whether the one is single or mingle. If single then friend request send karna to banta hai boss and if mingled then ‘sarging’ will follow up for next.

Sometimes it seems to be very strange that the one who is single wants to mingle and the one who is mingle again wants to be single and then again mingle.

The most famous and popular status is ‘SINGLE’. Generally, the people who fall under this clan are practical (good to give yourself the tranquility as I am one of them) and ‘happy go lucky’ type of species. They become the center of attraction if they have a good profile. Mostly these types of species don’t really want to stay single but being a victim of circumstances; helpless. They’re found to be dating and flirting but not more than that. Singles generally don’t have a fear of getting cheated, being caught with other, limits or any compact system. And that’s why they seem to be like a khulla saandh. These people generally say that ‘ I am happy being a single’ but actually its different from within. They know from inside that ‘yaar kab tak sukha pada rhega’. The people who were dumped by someone (fortunately or unfortunately) also fall under this clan. Sometimes people with the tag of THARKY also live with this status too. In a simple way, single lives with the quote: jo mujhe chahiye use main nahin chahiye, aur jisko main chahiye wo bhala kisko chahiye.

Undoubtedly lucky and measurably impecunious status is ‘IN A RELATIONSHIP/MINGLE’. Lucky because they have their best friend as their life mate (for a time being, temporarily). You’ll not find them easily online on social networking sites and that’s why generally they get a medium level of attention there. This type of species is generally found with their pair in dating spots (boring part: with the same one). They believe in eating the same daal everyday and when they feels to eat something new like biryani then they jump into the same daal again. Now, impecunious because these types of clan lives a compact life with boring daal everyday. They can’t hook around as nazarey bhatak gai to samjho gardan latak gai. But there are few ones of this clan who love the way of being treated as special and compaction due to which they remains with this status for their lifetime.

The most dangerous one: ‘MARRIED’. Simple the status means: ‘Better just back off’. These types of people get very low attention as trying on them is useless. Trying on them is like helping a prisoner to escape from jail who is loving that place a lot that he/she wants to stay there for forever.

The most complicated one: ‘IT’S COMPLICATED’. The people with this kind of status are mostly ‘breakup’ lovers. If they’re together, they feel like hooking someone else. When they do break up, they feel like Romeo-Juliet. These kind of people loves the chemistry subject so much that they also do chemical reactions in their relationship and the result of which: switching off ‘in a relationship’ to ‘its complicated’. They always try to search a substitute to stay constant due to which instead of becoming a substitute, they act as a catalyst to fasten up the chemical reaction of their relationship. So in a simple way, they just follow: break up, together again, break up again, together again...and so on.

Lastly, the ‘not so cool’ (what I think!): ‘IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP’. The people under this status gets the most attention though the status is less demanding. But you’ll find them very rare but once you get them-just enjoy dating and nothing more than that. The people with this status just want to convey: I’m not single but though you can take your chance. These people are ‘date freak’. Even after having a BF/GF, they are not bound to one person. They generally come with a mutual understanding that ‘you are my casual BF/GF, and I’ll be seeing others too’. They don’t feel the necessary dedication to their relationship. The status is less demanding due to its order and way of presenting someone’s ‘charitra’ but mostly acquire by girls in the count. They believe in: I’ll go outside and eat biryani, burger, sandwich even dosa but end of the day will have ghar ki daal at dinner also.

- Kanishta Anshul