In this Moment

Few months ago I was travelling in metro to reach my new college. I noticed a group of young people standing in one of the corners of the metro car. They were laughing, teasing each other, enjoying every bit of each other and cherishing what they have. It was evident from their behaviour that they don’t need anything else if they have each other. I just kept on looking at them and kept on restraining myself of my memories that I have. The memories that reminds of the time when I use to be a part of the group I am seeing now, cherishing my moments, enjoying like you don’t need tomorrow.

But the truth is the truth, doesn't matter how hard it is. You have to accept it. Truth was that I don’t have that group with me neither I want to be anymore. Reason also doesn't matter for me anymore because I made a decision of not being a part of one now. It hurts when you are left with just memories and nothing else. Even the good ones bring a sad emotion in you when you think of it.

I made a promise to myself that I will only be academically inclined and nothing else. I will socialize but only when needed. The rest I will do when I get the chance to be with my best friend who is 1000 kilometres from me. For a moment I thought I could miss out the fun others will have with their new friends but I decided that I will compensate for it when I will have my moment.

The college started and so does socializing. You need to be around people to get involved in activities. I was doing the same but soon I became friends with one person and another one followed a day later. I thought its okay since I need roommates. Then few days passed by and few more followed. I was skeptical about it. I felt like I am roaming in a circle and I will back at square one. I will have friends, a whole group, fun and then only memories. It will haunt me rather than a knight against nightmares. I tried to keep my distance but I was drawn into their collective charm. I knew that it is a friendship that is knocking on my door but I wanted to shut the door and leave forever.

Today I was in metro again but with my group of friends. Laughing, teasing each other, enjoying and cherishing each moment.

With time I realized that it doesn't matter how stiffly you close doors for your emotions. There is something in life called friendship which always break that door apart and fill your space with fun, support and inspiration. I was too inclined towards securing my future. It was hurting my real self. I am not someone who remains with plain face and sits with his hand on chin all the time. I can only be what I am when I am around friends.

One of my friends from this group wrote on her blog that ‘Success is subjective and it depends on what parameter you evaluate it on’.

Yes it is true.

I will have my future with success in it but it will not be based on a bitter present. I will evaluate it on how happy I was earlier and how happy I am after getting my share of success.

Lies and doubts are created but truth happens and for me the truth is that my best and my good friends are far away. So I could only be sad about it and be miserable or I could live my life with the people who are true to me and love me for what I am and not someone I pretend to be. I chose to live around them, with them.

Yes another truth is that we all might get separated in near future and I will be left with memories again. Memories do make you emotional but I am not afraid of having it anymore.

- Ajit Kumar

Can A Girl And A Boy Be Best Friends Too?

“A boy and a girl can never be just friends”, everybody has heard this dialogue but obviously in a much dramatic effect and with powerful delivery stance. In my entire course of existence I have been dealing with this phrase and denying it. Why? Because my best friend is a girl. I have known her since the time I remember most of the things in my life, so it feels like knowing her since the existence of this planet. Most of my other friends find it extremely weird that I have a female as my best friend. They often say that we hide that we are a couple and if not then one of us is secretly in love with the other. Of     course I love her but like a friend with an addition of best to it.

I would have to be more apathetic to know what it’s like to have a boy as a best friend for a girl but I am a bit lethargic to do that. I surely do know the fun and adventures of having a girl as your best friend. Whenever I think of this, five things pops into my mind at first and then I go into a torrent of thoughts upon what it should be and what it should have been. Till the childhood it remains sweet and heartening but in adulthood it becomes questioning along with sweet and heartening.

The first one; A girl is your best friend, seriously?

If a girl is your best friend, you must have had this reaction from others. They never say that but as soon as you reveal it, it takes them a while to get over it. Sometimes at some instances even the mind asks the same but the understanding overcomes the thought.

The second; Shyness

Doesn't matter how much bold you think of yourself, whenever your best friend asks you something related to sex, you would take at least ten minutes and ten different ways to explain it. But the thing is if you cannot talk about it then the girl or even that boy is not your best friend because best friends can ask any question and can answer any question.

The third; Management

Yeah if you want to be a decision maker, have a girl as your best friend and then make a girlfriend. You will learn how to manage work and home and will also be able to learn time management according to people. I guess this also increases crisis management. Well, it is common for a girl friend to hate your female best friend, it’s up to you to decide who the work is and who is home. If you upset any of the two, prepare yourself for crisis management. In my personal experience I have learned the management the most after obviously I screwed up.

The fourth; Suspicion

Most of your friends and family members would think that, you two have become a couple unless you clearly state that your best friend is not that girl, it is someone else. This also makes suspicion about you getting confused in life and not accepting things that is in front of you. If you are single then no matter how much you deny it, they would treat you as a couple. Especially when you are found talking to your best friend at mid night.

The fifth; Future

This remains a matter of concern. As you grow up you would be very uncertain of the future of relation. What is going to happen once we get settled? What if she gets married before me? What if we actually become a couple but no we denied all the time? The answer to these question depends on the level of understanding that you have with her and how you evolve through it.

In my personal experience the understanding is so much that even after living in two different cities for long time we are best friends and despite of her getting into a relationship the equation has not changed. That’s the level of understanding should exist. The third angle of love or for the matter of fact anything should never ruin the friendship, if it does then you need to work on your relation with your best friend. All I know is that if you have a female best friend, you are the luckiest guy in this world.

- Ajit Kumar Lal